俺にとって一番大切だった時江姉さんが死んでしまって49日が過ぎた頃、俺はようやくショックから立ち直って家から出られるようになった。時江姉さんの死を受け入れるのに49日もかかってしまったが、その間に動けない俺の頭の中を駆け巡ったのは彼女との思い出だった。
中学最後の夏が終わるっていうのに、俺は真っ黒な学生服を着て、姉の死の真相を、そして犯人を探すことに決めた。
時江姉さんはきっと何者かに殺されてしまったに違いない。とはいえ俺はただの中学生で大それた力なんて持っていない。
俺が分かっているのは時江姉さんが高校の屋上から落ちてきたということだ。
彼女は首の骨が折れて死んでしまった。
運がいいのか悪いのか即死だった時江姉さんは白い襦袢に包まれて美しく焼かれていった。人の死の呆気なさに俺は悲しさを通り越して虚しさに支配されていた。
辛かった。生きていける自信が湧かなかった。
俺はあまりにも悲しくて時江姉さんの遺品を焼くのすら惜しくて、家族にやめてくれやめてくれと懇願したけれど、父親にぶたれて遺品から引き剥がされて、結局全て焼かれて灰になってしまった。
俺のモノクロの日々に色をつけてくれよ、姉貴。俺はあんたなしじゃダメなんだ。もう楽しくはないんだ。
時江姉さんとの思い出はカラフルで、現実よりもよっぽど刺激的だった。
桜をいっしょに見たり、ゲームで遊んだり、勉強を見てくれたり、スキーに一緒に行ってくれたり…………そうだ。そういえば、時江姉さんはいつも何か企んだ表情でポケットにいつも大切そうに何かを隠し持っていて、それは今思うと、もしかしたら別れの気配だったのかもしれないなどとセンチメンタルな気持ちで俺は思う。
時江姉さんが通う高校にやってきた警察も親も、思春期特有の悩みからの自死と決定づけていた。
違うだろ、違うだろう、馬鹿野郎。誰かが押したんだ。そうに違いないんだ。
1人憤っていた俺を不憫に思った警察官の従兄弟が横流ししてくれた捜査資料には、不可解な点がひとつあった。
それは、屋上に不自然に転がっていたビー玉だった。俺はそれを見て答えが、いや、俺の仮説が脳裏にひらめく。
結局のところ時江姉さんの死は自殺で片付けられてしまっていて、それは変わることはなかったが、俺だけは知っている。
時江姉さんはポケットから転がり出たビー玉に足をとられて死んでしまったのだ。
彼女が亡くなった日は夕立が降っていた。
そして、その後に大きな虹がかかっていたことがその時の天気予報の記録を見て分かった。
そう、時江姉さんは虹を見ようとして、ビー玉に足をとられて死んだのだ。
いつも黒い服ばかり着ていた俺だった。それを姉貴は気にしてくれていた。七色に惹かれて、そしてそのまま落下した。
現場に落ちていた7つのビー玉は赤・橙・黃・緑・青・藍・紫の色をしていた。
虹を構成する色だったーー。
だが真相を知ったとて、それは俺の妄想に過ぎない。俺は近所の風が吹く丘まで来て夏草の上へ横たわる。そういえば、小さい頃はここで時江姉さんとよくかけっこをしたっけな。なんて思いながら漫画雑誌を顔に被せてぼんやりとしていた。
夢まくらに時江姉さんが出てこないかな、とウトウトしていると、ひょい、と雑誌を取り上げられて、「大地、そんなとこで寝てると風邪をひくよ」なんて、時江姉さんが俺にニッコリと微笑みかける。そんな夢を見た。
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