(本名)
(本名) 独占-復習-湿気
       

分/割

俺がサウナへ入った時、おっさんが2人、何事か話をしていた。夜中のひっそりとした時間だったから客は俺たち3人だけだ。
「金杯で万コロとれた頃がよかったよ。温泉にねーちゃん呼んでな」
品のない話をするおっさんを、もう1人のおっさんが軽くあしらう。
「あー、ポイントの復習あっから帰るわ。悪いな、今年の鮎は情報戦だ」
どうやら近所の渓流で鮎を釣るらしく、おっさんの1人はすぐに外へ出て行いった。
「愛想悪ぃや、なぁ?」
ニタニタ笑いながら残ったおっさんは突然俺に話しかける。サウナ室の前に貼られた『黙浴』の札が読めないのだろうか。
またヤバいやつに絡まれた。俺はそう思った。
「はあ」と生返事で返す俺を無視して、おっさんは話を続ける。
「月にさ6万円の所得税払ってんの、オレ。たまったもんじゃないよなぁ」
おっさんのぼやきは俺にはただのイヤミに聞こえたが、そう意識することでおっさんの話に聞き入ってることを自覚してしまい嫌気がさした。
「そんなに稼いでるんですねぇ」
俺の適当な返しに気を良くしてか、おっさんは嬉しそうに話す。
「投資だよ、投資。こんなご時世だからさあ、携帯会社のSとかクルマのTもそうだろ? うまいとこ儲けてるもんな」
投資話の新手の詐欺か。うんざりしながら聞いていると、おっさんは気になる言葉を口にした。
「やっぱ株だよなぁ。あ、だけどオレはただの株じゃねぇんだ。にいちゃん、人に言うなよ。オレのは愛の株ってやつだ」
「は?」
この薄気味悪いおっさんは何を言うのか。愛の株だ? なんだそれは?
「お、興味でてきたな! 愛の株ってのはな……」
そうしておっさんは昔話を始めた。
おっさんがもう遥か昔に好きだった女に告白をしようとしたところ、女は自分は株だから色んな人間が所有権を分割して持っていると言った。そして、月に1回の取引が行われるということも。
取引、その淫靡な響きにおっさんはごくりと生唾を飲んだという。
おっさんは女の5%ほどの株しか有していなかった。筆頭株主の別の男が毎回女を保有していった。
おっさんは悔しかった。女を独占しようと躍起になった。他の男に噂を吹聴して女の株を下げたり、別な男たちと結託して株を大量に保有しようとしたりした。
何事も勉強だ、おっさんは失敗を糧に復習して、同じ過ちは繰り返さなかった。
その過程で、本当の株にも手を出した。女という株で苦労したおっさんは負け知らずだった。
そうして、おっさんは女を手に入れた。51%以上の女の株を保有したのだ。
しかし、女はとても税金のかかる資産だった。毎月、所得税分のナニカを支払う必要があったのだ。
所得税分の金銭の時もあった。所得税分の不幸を支払わなければならない時もあった。
「女をよく保有していた筆頭株主の耳がなかったのを見落としてたのよ。オレ。アホでしょ」
と、ゲラゲラ笑うおっさんの指はじっとりとサウナの湿気に包まれて、ところどころがかけていた。
不意に、所得税を今も払っている、という最初の言葉がフラッシュバックした。
強い湿気が汗になって額から流れ出したが、俺の身体の奥から吹き出したのは恐怖の汗だった。
「あ、熱いので先にでますね」
「よ、じゃあな」
サウナから出る時、ニターっと笑うおっさんの目の奥が笑ってないことに気づいた。
蒸し暑いのに底冷えする、どこまでも見えない奈落を想起させる目だった。

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