(本名)
(本名) 神経衰弱-バッテリー-ミルク
       

Wher is your mind?

僕には分からないことがひとつある。それは、どうしてみんながいがみ合っているのだろうかってことだ。
ミルクのように純白な正義感でみんなが振るう怒りの鉄槌はあらゆる他人を傷つける。
痛い、辛い、傷ついた、死にたい、死にたい、もう嫌です。助けて。
ネットに溢れるあらゆる言葉が氷のナイフになって、スマートフォンから飛び出して僕の目から心に刺さる。小さな小さなナイフの粒が目から僕の心に入ってくる。
まるで『雪の女王』のように、きっとみんなも僕も氷のナイフが心に引っかかって、残虐さに支配されて心が歪んでしまったんだ。
僕の死にたい気持ちは裏返り、みんな死ね、みんな死ねと呟いて、だったら僕がいなくなった方が早いんじゃないか、と気づく。
カリカリカリ……と何かに心が蝕まれて神経衰弱に陥っていた。気づくと部屋から1歩も出られなくなった。
バッテリーが切れたみたいに部屋の中でぐったりとして、大学にも行かず1日中ぼんやりとスマートフォンの画面を眺めていた。

そんなある日、僕の目の前に僕が現れた。

「よお、くだらないことで悩んでるお前」
え、なんで目の前に僕が?
「立てよ。ほら」
訳もわからず立ち上がる僕に、もう1人の僕は突然顔面にパンチをくらわせた。
「ははっ! 悩んでないでぶん殴ってスッキリしようぜ。オラっ」
次は腹だ。なんでこんな幻覚を見てるんだ!? ただ、痛みは本物だった。身体をくの字に曲げながら流しに胃の内容物を吐き出すと、胃液以外何も入っていなかった。
はは、空っぽの僕みたいだ。と感傷に耽る間も無く、振り向かされてもう1人の僕に側頭部を思いっきりぶん殴られた。
たたきから転がり落ちて玄関のコンクリにしたたかに頭を打った。
痛みに顔をしかめていると、胸ぐらを掴まれて立たされた。
「悔しいだろ? 腹が立つだろ、恭一? だったら俺を殴れよ! 殴り合おうぜ!」
ひたすらにもう1人の僕に煽られる。
困惑する僕にもう1人の僕は頭突きをかましてきて、僕の怒りは頂点に達した。
ふざけるな、と怒りのままに左の拳を振りかぶり、もう1人の僕を力任せに殴った。
パンチはもう1人の僕の鼻にクリーンヒットした。
「そうだ!! それでいいんだよ!! もっと来いよ!!」
鼻をあらぬ方向にひん曲げて両方の鼻から鼻血を流しながら、もう1人の僕は爛々と目を輝かせていた。
こいつ、完全に頭がおかしいぞ。
でも、このままではやられてしまう。相手は本気だ。本気で僕を殺そうとしてる。
だったら、ぶちのめすしかない。
覚悟を決めて相手の腹を蹴って、吹き飛ばす。もう1人の僕を玄関まで追い詰める。
そのまま腹に強烈な右ストレートをお見舞いしようとしてーー

気づくとドアノブに手をかけていた。

ハッとなり正面を向く。幻覚は消えている。
扉を開ける。
ふわりとした、初夏のぬるい風が部屋の中に入ってくる。
遠く鳥の声が聞こえる。目の前の坂を自転車が降りてくる。銀輪が太陽を反射している。あんなに遠く感じた外が世界が色彩が両目を通して鮮やかに入ってきた。
両方の鼻筋から止めどなく鼻血が流れていた。僕は僕自身を殴っていたようだった。
気がつくと僕は泣いていた。ようやく心が動いた気がした。
どうやら僕の涙が、心の冷たいナイフを溶かしたみたいだった。

コメント

  1. PORN より:
  2. Acecreabs より:

    2001; 7 478 85 priligy buy How do I make an appointment

  3. prepsyHek より:

    In terms of hair loss, this might be one of the most dangerous steroid products on the market priligy dosage followed suit in 2003

  4. Hee hee, what is the matter, I said that I might be able to handle it here, but you just do not believe me, now you know that I am also useful, It is not that Zhao Ling does not patanjali ayurvedic medicines for erectile dysfunction believe it where to get generic cytotec without prescription

  5. starzbaza より:
  6. starzegypt より:

    https://888starz-egypt.online/ ЩЉЩ‚ШЇЩ… Щ„Щѓ ШЄШ¬Ш±ШЁШ© Щ„Ш№ШЁ ЩЃШ±ЩЉШЇШ© Щ€Щ…Щ…ЩЉШІШ© Щ„Ш№ШґШ§Щ‚ Ш§Щ„ЩѓШ§ШІЩЉЩ†Щ€ Щ€Ш§Щ„Ш±ЩЉШ§Ш¶Ш©. Ш§Щ†Ш¶Щ… Ш§Щ„ЩЉЩ€Щ… Щ€Ш§ШіШЄЩ…ШЄШ№.

  7. propecia finapil This factor is particularly important in an analysis of subcutaneous mastectomy, since there can be considerable variation in the amount of breast tissue that is retained

  8. silaboga より:
  9. 888starzCI より:
  10. Profitez d’un large choix de jeux et d’offres exclusives en telechargeant l’application 888starz Casino iOS. Cette plateforme est optimisee pour offrir une navigation rapide et un gameplay fluide a tous les joueurs mobiles !

  11. 888starzlinks より:
  12. 888starzprofile より:
  13. Polobet Giriş より:

    Good post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon every day.
    It will always be interesting to read content from other writers
    and practice something from other web sites.

  14. Certains des meilleurs casinos en ligne ont la particularité de proposer des jeux originaux tels
    que Plinko ou encore Aviator.

  15. Fantastic article ! You havemade some very astute statements and I
    appreciate the the effort you have put into your writing.
    Its clear that you know what you are writing about. I am excited to read more of your sites content.

  16. I have been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this sort
    of space . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled
    upon this site. Reading this info So i am happy
    to show that I have an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed.

    I most definitely will make sure to do not disregard this website and
    provides it a look on a relentless basis.

  17. tapis de course より:

    Attractive element of content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to claim that I acquire actually enjoyed account
    your weblog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing on your feeds
    and even I fulfillment you get entry to consistently fast.

  18. 888starzshk より:
  19. 888starzgreen より:

    888starz bet скачать бесплатно http://watersport.org.ru/images/pgs/888starz-top-10-slotov-casino.html

  20. Wonderful work! That is the kind of information that should be shared across the net.
    Disgrace on Google for not positioning this put up higher!

    Come on over and seek advice from my site . Thank you =)

  21. 31231 より:

    Hello there, I found your blog by way of Google at the same time
    as searching for a comparable topic, your web site came up,
    it appears to be like good. I’ve bookmarked it in my
    google bookmarks.
    Hi there, just changed into alert to your weblog via Google, and found that it’s really
    informative. I am gonna watch out for brussels. I’ll be grateful in the event you continue this in future.
    A lot of other people will probably be benefited out of
    your writing. Cheers!

  22. funsilo.Date より:

    – No matter where you live in the world,
    we can usually get your order direct to your door within ten days
    from one of our warehouses located in Europe. We have so many returning customers and famous within the steroid world because
    we always stick to our values, no matter what. Our bodies contain a
    certain chemical known as hormones. However, we also have man made hormones that are also
    known as steroids, used for the purpose of reducing inflammation. A
    Testosterone is essential for the development of sexual characteristics and growth of the body.
    In the last decade, the drug has also been used to treat advanced breast cancer in females.

    Though, it is also a completely heavy drug with high androgenic
    outcomes.
    By way of instance, they could experience paranoid thoughts, sleeplessness, migraines.
    A decrease in their sexual encounter, and other
    undesirable stuff. Additionally, I mentioned there is a very low chance to get guy boobs.
    Report any faults with products within 7 days for an immediate exchange.
    Our website includes a 24/7 customer support team who can provide
    you with a solution to any issue.
    It is also believed to boost nitrogen retention which means you will remain more anabolic.
    It allows your protein intake to focus on the muscles.
    If you are about to buy anabolic steroids online for the first
    time, it’s fair to question which is the best one out
    there.
    It alters testosterone production in the body that
    leads to an increase in limbic hair growth and deepens the voice and becomes more masculine.
    Read moreThe adverse reactions associated with the use of injectable steroids, especially for recreational
    purposes, can be so alarming if not taken care of. We
    offer the option to consult with a professional before deciding which anabolic steroid to purchase
    in our online steroids store. Although this drug is touted as
    “the most effective anabolic” from athletes to eat right it does not cause the same effects
    that the additives described above.
    This makes it a perfect choice to combat gynocomastia which it
    will completely prevent. Letrozole also quite raises LH levels which deems it suitable for post-cycle use.
    The human body does need estrogen to maintain proper immune function and balance cholesterol
    ratios in the blood. Since letrozole is
    so strong at eliminating estrogen, it is not suited for long term use.

    An online pharmacy is certainly the best option for purchasing
    steroids. Testosterone is become estrogen by way of
    an enzyme known as aromatase. That I discovered to be an odd wording to mention that male hormone.

    Oral steroids enter recent blog I wrote about protein growth hormone was administered in healthy
    men. Men who take SSRIs and who are having trouble had the greatest increase in muscle strength and and has assisted hundreds of individuals
    with their training, diet and drug programs. Testosterone propionate is quite a popular the 5-alpha reductase enzyme,
    which is the who take them. The best mexican steroids online way is with a EOW the body is not went away and I felt amazing.

    It is not possible, therefore, to determine space is outside occur as
    a result of an increase in insulin. Courts High-profile mexican steroids online
    restaurateur Ronan are hermetically sealed using it
    and avoid other drugs or alcohol.
    Also, drink plenty of water and add more avocados, eggs, almonds, cauliflower, bananas, and milk to your diet.

    And eat foods like white meat, peanuts, mushrooms, tuna, beef,
    and sunflower seeds that contain niacin. This is another convenient vitamin that helps hair growth.
    To make everything look natural, make sure you choose the right shade of eyebrow pencil that matches
    the color of your beard. If this puts you in a
    dead end, ask for help from a consultant in a cosmetics and
    perfume store — he will not bite you. There are many natural ways to boost your testosterone, which in turn can lead to faster beard
    growth. This issue boils down to the amount of time a user has to let the
    medication enter the body and start working.
    Simply take a look at a number of our posts dedicated to steroids
    guidelines, legal steroids, steroid series. We offer a tracking number with every order which can be used to track your order from our
    pharmacy to your destination. Our pharmacy guarantees no custom problem and the fastest delivery.
    Our orders for online steroids are delivered within a week.

    If you are interested, oral pills are available to order from a Europeangeneric Viagra shop.
    To protect yourself from getting toxic steroids,
    adapt the legal process of buying steroids online.
    The legitimate pharmacy will help you get the best-sourced steroid produced by leading manufacturers under streamlined processes.
    They will display all the authentic brands of legal steroids that will give you the desired fitness and shape to your body.
    Anabolic steroids are synthetic human-made hormones similar
    to androgens, the male-type sex hormones in the body.
    Clearly, handful of these athletes are recognizing to use that is steroid, especially now in time.

    They always get right back to me when I need a product or a price
    on something. My business has grown over the years and Rx Mega Shop has always
    been able to meet my needs, thank you. Acute Pharmacy allows me to focus on my customers and
    ensure that I have the tools and products available that I need in order to serve those customers.
    I would recommend them to any independent pharmacy
    without hesitation. Our pharmacists and stand ready to serve
    you with every prescription need. Ask us if your prescription is eligible for synchronized-file or other
    conveniences to help your pharmacy experience.

    my blog – long term effects of steroids on the Body – funsilo.Date,

  23. soft flooring より:

    hello there and thank you for your information – I’ve definitely
    picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this website,
    as I experienced to reload the website a lot of times previous to I could get it to load properly.

    I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your placement
    in google and could damage your high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords.

    Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for much more of
    your respective exciting content. Make sure you update this again soon.

  24. Selbstakzeptanz より:

    hi!,I really like your writing very so much!

    percentage we keep up a correspondence more about your article on AOL?

    I require an expert on this space to solve my problem. May be that’s you!
    Having a look forward to see you.

  25. Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a completely different
    subject but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Superb choice of colors!

  26. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that
    I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I will be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you
    access consistently rapidly.

  27. Great post. I was checking continuously this weblog and I’m impressed!
    Very helpful information specially the remaining section 🙂 I
    maintain such info much. I used to be seeking this certain info for a long time.
    Thank you and best of luck.

  28. 888starzzigry より:
  29. 888starzpfcc より:

    Мобильные казино становятся все более популярными среди игроков, которые хотят получать максимум удовольствия от азартных развлечений в любое удобное время. Теперь не нужно искать рабочие зеркала или зависеть от стабильности браузера – просто скачайте приложение и наслаждайтесь всеми возможностями казино и букмекерской конторы без ограничений. Здесь представлены лучшие игровые автоматы, ставки на спорт, лайв-игры с профессиональными крупье и турниры с крупными призами. Чтобы открыть для себя все возможности мобильного казино, достаточно 888starz скачать официальный сайт и пройти регистрацию. После установки пользователи получают доступ к моментальным выплатам, эксклюзивным акциям и персонализированным бонусам, которые помогут увеличить шансы на крупные выигрыши. В приложении реализована удобная система управления счетом, быстрые депозиты и мгновенный вывод выигрышей без комиссии. Также доступна система уведомлений, которая позволит вам не пропустить выгодные акции, бонусные предложения и эксклюзивные турниры. Теперь ваше казино всегда под рукой – скачайте клиент и наслаждайтесь азартными играми без ограничений. Если вы хотите испытать свою удачу и попробовать лучшие азартные развлечения, установите приложение прямо сейчас и начните выигрывать уже сегодня!

  30. 888starzscc より:

    Теперь азартные развлечения стали еще доступнее, ведь все функции казино и букмекерской конторы собраны в одном мобильном приложении. Здесь можно делать ставки на спорт, играть в слоты, участвовать в лайв-играх с настоящими дилерами и пользоваться эксклюзивными предложениями для мобильных пользователей. Приложение работает стабильно, предлагает высокую скорость загрузки игр и мгновенные выплаты, что делает его идеальным выбором для тех, кто хочет играть с комфортом. Чтобы воспользоваться всеми преимуществами платформы, скачайте клиент по ссылке https://888starzs.cc/ и получите доступ к уникальным бонусам. После установки пользователи смогут участвовать в турнирах, получать персонализированные бонусы и пользоваться системой кэшбэка, которая возвращает часть проигранных ставок. В приложении предусмотрены быстрые депозиты, удобные платежные методы и моментальный вывод средств без комиссии. Также доступна система уведомлений, которая позволяет всегда быть в курсе новых акций, бонусов и турниров с крупными призами. Теперь вам не нужно беспокоиться о доступе к казино – просто скачайте клиент и наслаждайтесь игрой в любое удобное для вас время. Попробуйте мобильную версию прямо сейчас и получите максимум удовольствия от ставок и азартных игр!

  31. Experience thrilling live sports betting with 888Starz Bet on your Android device.

  32. 70918248

    References:

    is growth hormone a steroid hormone – https://laviesound.com/pmlprecious850,

  33. Evangeline より:

    70918248

    References:

    anabolic steroids dianabol – Evangeline,

  34. 70918248

    References:

    Steroids For Cutting (https://Gogs.Artapp.Cn)

タイトルとURLをコピーしました