鈴木無花果
鈴木無花果 友達-モニター-翼
       

天は人の上に人を造らず

「ごめん、友達でいよう」
彼はそう言ってどこかへ飛び去った。
やはり愛では人種の壁は超えられない。
私は彼にとって特別な存在にはなれない。

一説にはいつか、空から天国が降ってきたとか。
人生には2回目が存在して、2回目の人間にはまるで天使のような翼が生える。
有翼人種。
有翼人種と無翼人種の取り扱いに差をつけることは国際的な法律で禁じられている。
ともかく少なくとも表向きは、翼があろうがなかろうが関係ない。

関係ある。
そもそも存在としての仕組みが違うのだ。
彼らは苦しみを全く感じ取ることができない。ケガもしないし病気にもならない。常に天国状態というワケだ。
1回目の生の苦しみから解き放たれた彼らにとって、周回遅れの私たちの苦悩なんて理解できない。

しかし私は彼を諦めきれない。だってこんなにも愛しているのに。
私が自室に入ると4枚のモニタが出迎える。
サブモニタ3枚を4分割した12画面に、彼の生活圏内に百箇所以上しかけたカメラからの映像がザッピングされている。
まぁストーキングというやつである。

しかし私のストーキングは完璧ではない。
空までは追えない。
彼が飛び去った先を目一杯ズームしたところで、雲に遮られてしまうだけ。

失意の私に差し伸べられる闇のサイトあり。
なんでも、今の人生のままで翼を得られるとか。
そんな馬鹿な。1回目の人生では翼は文字通り”死ぬまで”生えない。
しかし私は可能性にかけて、怪しい男の誘いに乗った。彼のためなら死んでもいいからだ。文字通り。

成功した。
私は翼を手に入れて、有翼人種となった。
人工的に作られた翼はしかし、まるで生まれたときからそこにあったように私にフィットした。

彼は、彼たちは、晴れて有翼となった私を不自然なほど快く受け入れた。
雲の中の世界をご存知だろうか?
そこかしこにある大きな積乱雲の中には有翼人種だけが立ち入れる楽園のような島があって、彼らはそこで贅の極みを尽くしている。

更に、そこで人気のレジャーをご存知だろうか?
“火炙りの刑”。
轟々と火を焚いてその中に飛び込むと、パチパチと皮膚の横で弾ける火花と蒸発する汗が心地いい。のだとか。
そして何より、迷信への嘲笑。火炙りにしたところで何も起きないなんて大笑いでしょ?だとか。

私も浮かれていたのだ。
私は人工的に翼をつけただけであって、本質的に有翼人種になったわけではなかったのだ。
身を焦す業火の苦しみは、2度目の人生などいらないと私に思わせるには十分だった。

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